When I first heard the phrase “Alligator mouth; bunny rabbit tail” (thank you S.G.), I instantly had my future retort to the countless scenarios that would inevitably come. No doubt, I would use that quick jab when a friend would boast of his team’s prowess, only to get humiliated on the fantasy football field, or when one of my children would claim that she could beat me in arm wrestling, Mario Kart, or holding her breath underwater. Indeed, over the years I have employed the clever saying every chance I could. But not long after I was introduced to the scary/cute creature, I became aware that a whole world of variations existed. For the man’s man, you may observe “all hammer, and no nail”; for your spa loving friend, you may lament, “all wax, and no wick”; your granpa may need the occasional, “all mouth, and no trousers”; and the West Texas rancher that isn’t getting it done may just deserve an “all hat, and no cattle.”
In the energy efficiency and conservation industry, there has been the need for an “all hat and no cattle” synonym for quite some time. As inconvenient as the truth may be, the green wave that has swept the world since before Al Gore’s Nobel Prize has largely been “all sizzle and no steak.” (I’m on a roll here…)
Having been in the industry since 1996, my personal experience has shown me the two distinct sides of “green” very clearly. On one side, there is the PR aspect that involves global catastrophe, slick sounding buzz words, cutting edge gadgets, bold claims, and “quick paybacks”. It is flush with federal subsidy, utility rebates and state grants. Former Presidents make it their mission, cities like to put programs around it, and university presidents band together over it.
The other side of “green” isn’t so sexy. In fact, to the general public it is… yawn… pretty boring. It is behind the walls, above the ceilings, and in the maintenance closets of schools, stores, and skyscrapers. It is comprised of simple, yet very effective engineering and operations practices that fix problems and make buildings work. It is the side that generates real savings, but not a lot of press. In fact, this side has been around much longer, just by a different name and under different pretenses. It is capitalism at its finest, causing people to update their lighting or air conditioning, and set their thermostats back because it saves them money and it is common sense.
Recently, USA Today published an article titled “Green schools: Long on promise, short on delivery” and details a troubling reality of what happens when the hype machine (i.e. the alligator, hammer, hat, etc.) isn’t accompanied by common sense and solid business practices. It is worth reading, but I would caution against throwing the baby out with the bath water. Green schools are a reality, and have been for years. Getting there doesn’t require LEED or the EPA telling you what to do, or reams of paperwork to document how many acres of rain forests you think you can save by implementing a gadget.
Green schools, with the right plan and effective approach, are equal parts “had and herd”. Curious how? Email us and we will show you.
