Blessed are the Peace Makers

In Jesus' famous Sermon on the Mount, he admonishes His disciples to strive for great character, and promises blessings for achievement. "Blessed are the gentle, for they shall inherit the earth...blessed are merciful, for they shall receive mercy..." I remember as a young man committing to attempt to try to make an effort to give it my best shot... to follow Jesus and be all of those things. One in particular, though, I thought I had nailed: "Blessed are the peace makers, for they shall be called Sons of God."  I knew I could do that, because I hated conflict. I would go through life, I thought, and help people get along. And when conflict came my way, I would quickly dispose of it. And that is the way I operated for the better part of my adolescence, through college and on into my career.

Fast forward to 2012, in a taco shop in Addison, when I am sitting with my good buddy Matt Levy from Credera discussing our respective businesses and how to make them better. As lunch rolled on, the topic of office conflict came up, in the context of the sometimes difficult task of giving negative feedback to employees.  I quickly reminded Matt that I was a "peace maker", and proceeded to tell him how I handled conflict in my world.  Without much hesitation, Matt told me, quite frankly, "You aren't a peace maker Brian, you are a "peace faker".  You don't resolve conflict, you avoid it.  You don't make peace, you sweep stuff under the rug and act like there is no problem..."

Pow. Right between the eyes.

He went on to describe a continuum, where peace faking was on one end, peace breaking on the other end, and true peace making was somewhere right in the middle. Rarely, he said, was anyone ever truly a peace maker. He didn't have to say anymore; I knew he was right, but I had just never heard it before.

Instantly, though, I felt a sort of weight lifted off of my shoulders. For my entire life, I assumed that peace making meant that I had to save other people from the pain of conflict, when in reality I was keeping people from getting better. I knew instantly because I was so grateful for my friend Matt to shoot me straight. I wondered how many times I withheld critical feedback from coworkers and employees because of my peace faking.

The application here is obvious and of extreme importance. For business and for life in general, remember these three things:

1. It is appropriate for everyone to strive to be a peace maker;
2. Give yourself an honest look in the mirror and decide what your tendencies are. Do you pick fights and attempt to win? Do you flee conflict and "overlook" offenses that shouldn't be overlooked?
3. Practice peace making. Don't flee and don't fight; listen, learn and don't be afraid to speak the truth in love.

Simple, yet powerful, this life lesson was worth sharing.

Be Blessed!